Peru || Month One

It’s officially been (just over) one month since I left good old Missouri. This past month started with a whole lot more tears than it ended with, literally only by the goodness of God. But I’ve also laughed a lot, adventured into the city a lot, and attempted to stay up-to-date with Astros baseball (sorry, Britain).

I’ve been reminded constantly of how good my God is. On the hard days, He’s there. On the great days, He’s there. He grants sunshine after a week only seeing clouds (side note: the other night, after an afternoon of CLEAR BLUE SKY (!!!), I laid in bed and watched the clouds roll in across the dark sky, and it was one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a while). He’s given me sweet reminders of His calling over the last few weeks and of simply who He is, when all I want to do is get on a plane back home and hug my momma.

I’ve started reading through the Experiencing God study with a couple other women who are here. Just the other day, the lesson was on God’s calling of Moses through the burning bush. God appears to Moses and begins to tell Moses His plan to rescue the Israelites – and use Moses for His work in the process. But Moses basically freaks out (same, dude) and starts listing to God all the reasons he’s unqualified for the task at hand – and even goes so far as to ask God to send someone else. At first, I was like, “Okay, dude. Come on. This is so COOL, why would you turn this down?” But then I thought about it, and God gave me a little thump on the head. I’ve spent so much of my time here choosing to run from what God is doing and begging Him to use someone else, without even realizing that was what I was doing – listen, I almost didn’t even get on the plane out of the US and just flew home, and here I am, trying to judge Moses in this moment. But God is still so good, and even though He did give me a good thump on the head to wake me up and grab my attention, He is also so gentle and kind still. See, here’s the thing the Holy Spirit had to have a chit chat with me about – God is going to choose to work around me, and He’s going to accomplish His work. He wants me to join Him, but He’ll choose to work through someone else if I tell Him no – that’s what He did with Moses and Aaron. The Holy Spirit simply asked me, “Are you going to choose to allow me to work through you while you follow into the next step God has for you and why He’s placed you here? Or are you going to choose to miss out on the blessing of walking with Me on this journey because you’re too scared you’re inadequate, when I’m all you need?” Then I just let out a reallllllly long breath, because that hit me SO HARD.

Even when I find myself stuck in the cycle of comparison, God is still enough. When I think I’m not making friends “quick enough” (whatever that means, as if I could actually put a timeline on building relationships – goodness, Alli), God reminds me that He is at work, even in the little moments and the small conversations. When I tell myself I’m not outgoing enough or extroverted enough to strike up a conversation with someone (in Spanish, yikes), God reminds me that it is solely through His strength – and that He wants to provide that strength and is not only with me, but is residing inside me (okay how cool!!!) through the Holy Spirit. He’s had to remind me time and again that, in all reality, I’ve only been living this daily routine and daily life for about a week and a half. The beginning of our time here included training and a trip to the mountains (so so so beautiful!!). It’s only been in the last week and a half since I started going to language classes and exploring the city a little more. Expecting myself to have built a good friendship with multiple people in about just a week and a half is waaaaay too high of an expectation for myself, and it’s not one God’s put on me, either. He doesn’t love me any less because I haven’t made a lifelong friendship in a week and a half, but He is asking that, as I search to make friends, I actually act like a friend. There’s that old cliché, “It takes a friend to make a friend.” If I’m not trusting Him to give me courage and strength to engage others here in conversation, even in Spanish – and then actually acting on that and actually talking to people, then I’m not going to make a friend. That being said, I’m praying for one good friend, one good connection while I’m here.

On a different note, here’s a little update of the happenings since I’ve been here!

We spent a week in the mountains, and it was so, so beautiful. I got to experience the more indigenous culture and get a little glimpse into what life is like for so many people here who live far outside of the city. There are also so many people here in the city who came from small communities throughout the country, and to learn a little about their lives before they moved here was a really cool experience.

I’ve gained a lot of confidence and trust in the Lord as I’ve ventured out into the city a little. In the midst of feeling inadequate and questioning if living here is really something I could do, God reminds me that He put me here for a reason, and in Him alone will I find my strength. When I use my time walking to pray, I actually really enjoy walking around the city. It’s a good time for me to just talk with God about the day, about what’s going on, about what’s on my heart, and to ask for wisdom in this journey with Him. And, I’m getting so many steps in! Unrelated, yes, but the walking is really good for my heart and mind, especially since we don’t see the sun very often here. I’m starting to learn my way around and sort of get my bearings in the city, and I’m kind of getting a map in my head of the area around where I live (if you know me, you know that basically the only way I ever get around anywhere is picturing the map in my head, so this is a very exciting big deal for me)!

I’m not sure I have a ton else to say. God is good, my friends. I’m reminded of that daily. He’s stretching me and teaching me the importance and power and sweetness of prayer each and every day. With a face mask on and a t-shirt wrapped around my still-wet hair, I’m signing off tonight because I still haven’t finished my homework for language class (hey, at least life here is starting to feel a little more comfortable and normal). I’ll talk to y’all again in a month. Thank you for praying and for choosing to keep up with this journey God has me on. It means the world!

Adios, Springfield || Peru Part 1

I find something really beautiful about airports. Maybe I’m crazy. They stress my mother out.

Normally, I’m so easily overstimulated in situations like this. Heck, I got overstimulated on my way-too-warm plane just before I landed here in Charlotte.

But inside this airport? It’s almost like each airport is its own little world. The hustle and bustle of everyone running around to catch a flight or find something semi-interesting to do before their flights arrive is just so intriguing. Sometimes, I just like to sit back and people watch, maybe imagine the stories of the people around me and how they ended up also flying from Charlotte to Richmond.

Maybe the guy and girl in their mid-twenties sitting across from me sharing a sandwich are on a layover on the way home from a honeymoon. Maybe the two women sitting across the way are two teachers who are headed back home before the school year starts. The two friends sitting next to me? I like to think they’re two college girls headed back to school for the fall who found out they were on the same flight and are reconnecting after a summer apart.

My flight here wasn’t all that great. Okay, it was fine. But it was also the first time in my life I’ve been motion sick (it was just a small yikes). Then, just to add some adventure, after waiting on the plane for fifteen minutes before we could taxi to the gate, the engine had to be turned off, and the plane had to be towed to the gate – with all of us still on board.

But I’m at my next gate, and there’s only one flight that stands between me and orientation now. One short, hour long (maybe) flight. Once I land in Richmond, I’ll meet my Hands On missions partner and one of the IMB staff members who has been communicating with us the last few months and helping us work out all the crazy details of these next four months.

I really can’t think of a ton else to fill you in on right now. The Lord is giving sweet grace in calming my flight anxieties and allowing me to simply relax while in the air. Pray those continue when I fly again next weekend to Peru. Pray for my Hands On partner and myself as we meet and begin this journey together, that God would grant us a sweet friendship and fellowship as we serve Him these next four months.

Also, my last flight was weirdly warm, and the cankles are real. Not that you needed to know that, but now you do. Here’s hoping my three other flights are much cooler (because I dressed for cold planes, not hot ones haha).