WEEK FIVE

Man, God worked in amazing ways this week.

I’m still processing it all, so I can’t promise how much sense any of this is going to make, but God is really working down here.  So here’s what went down.

Tuesday, I went to the village and spent the afternoon with some little girls running around and completely ignoring the baseball game the older kids were playing with other team members.  Friday, we traveled to Matagalpa, about two and a half hours away, with the girls from the abstinence program for a fun day of chocolate, Mexican food, ice cream, and snuggles.

Earlier this week, Denise mentioned that, being here for a longer period of time, we had more opportunities to build real relationships and share the gospel with the Nicas and the people we meet.  That hit me hard.  From that point on, God started laying specific names on my heart to pray for and, hopefully, share the gospel and Jesus’s love with.  For some reason, that laid really heavily on my heart.  I’ve never really had God lay specific names on my heart before, so this was something totally new.

One of them is a little girl from the village.  I met her a couple weeks ago and got to see her again when I went back on Tuesday.  She’s a sweetheart.  She’s full of energy and life, her favorite subject in school is math (a couple weeks ago it was language), and she loves jumping around on the tires by the baseball field.  Her caring heart and carefree joy is seriously one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced.  I’m praying God works a miracle in her life and shows her His joy, what true joy looks like.

The other is a girl from the abstinence program.  Friday, when we traveled with them, we were all assigned a girl from the program to be our little sister for the day.  This little girl was a snuggler, and I cannot tell you how happy that made my heart.  But here’s what got me.  This girl finally felt safe.  For that one day, she didn’t have to worry about anything – not responsibilities, not safety, nothing.  She could just be a normal kid for a day; she could just be.  God laid this sweet girl on my heart.  He has the ultimate safety, love, and care that she needs, and I’m praying she sees that.  I’m praying that she would know just how valued and loved she is by Jesus and that she is a true princess in His eyes.  I’m praying she would turn to Him for all she needs, not to the things of the world that can’t fill her.

Like I said, this week was full of God working.  But, honestly, it was kind of overwhelming.  This morning, I broke.  This week, I’ve started to see just how much darkness really is here, just how hurt and broken so much of this world is.  It’s heavy stuff, and this morning, I just kind of hit a wall.  But God has peace that surpasses any understanding of peace I could ever have.

Today was just one example of all the times down here I’ve witnessed firsthand God’s peace and joy.  The day went on, and God did amazing things.  Not just in me, but in the people around me and the people we were serving.  Today was one of the greatest days I’ve had since I’ve been here, and it’s all because God brought immense amounts of peace and joy.

He’s teaching me that I need to trust Him with those things.  They aren’t just going to magically happen.  I have to look to Him and search for Him, draw near to Him, and His peace and comfort are so evident.  His peace, comfort, and joy are actually more overwhelming in a good way than the weight of all I experienced this week.  God is so cool.

Today was a blessing.  This week was a blessing.  It was hard, but it was amazing.  It’s been so cool to see God work and see all that He does in the people around me and in my own life.

Please be praying with me for the two girls God has specifically laid on my heart, as well as for the other kids from the village, feeding center, and Tae’s House that I’ve gotten to know.  Pray for God to use me.

Masaya Volcano spitting out smoke on the way home from Laguna de Apoyo Saturday afternoon

Some of the sweet, sweet kiddos from the village

Fernanda, Valeria, Genesis, and Elena, four little girls from the village who are full of energy

I LOVED spending Tuesday afternoon completely ignoring the baseball game (behind them) with them and running around on the tires instead.

A crater in Masaya Volcano.  We had the amazing opportunity to go see the volcano up close, with the smoke coming out and everything.  We even got to see lava!

Week Four

So, this week was interesting, but in a good way.  God works in cool ways.

I started off this week sick (again).  This time, it was a nasty ear infection that knocked me down.  I mean, to the point that I could barely move my mouth to speak because of the pain.  So, through that, God took me on a little adventure.  I got to travel with Dr. Melba and the medical team to León to help them out at the medical clinic for a day.  And it was seriously a blast.  León is an extremely beautiful city, and she even drove us by a salt factory where salt, taken from the ocean, is basically turned into table salt for the country and to be exported.  It was seriously so cool.

So much has been on my heart this week.  God’s still got me learning about joy.  Joy and trust.  This week has been filled with learning about finding joy in the moment and in the little things.  Sometimes, it’s about the huge, grand moments, but a lot of times, I miss the little things.  I miss the sunsets God’s painted or the time to get to know the medical interns.  In all honesty, I caught myself dwelling on the fact that I wasn’t allowed to go to the dump earlier this week.  I was dwelling on all I would be missing when I wasn’t seeing the kids at the feeding center all week.  But God’s got plans, and they’re cool.  Instead, I got to go with Dr. Melba (as aforementioned) and be a part of a pretty darn cool day.  Never before had I seen any side of the medical ministry, and it was so fun to not only see all that Dr. Melba and her team do but also to simply have time to get to know the medical interns a little bit better.

God is seriously amazing.  That’s really all I have to say about this week.  It was the first week without a moment of stomach-turning homesickness.  It was a week filled with adventures to go swimming, to watch movies, to see mounds of salt the size of buildings, to help people find glasses, to love on kiddos, and honestly to take some time to just rest when I needed it.  God always knows what we need.

I really don’t have much to say about this week.  All I can say is that God is good.  He’s teaching me so much about finding my joy in Him and trusting Him with the present.  He’s teaching me that worry fixes literally nothing and that a goodbye hug from a Taellor’s House kid or a pretty sunset can mean just as much as getting a package from my mom or talking for hours with other interns.  I love how God works in all things, even what I may think are too small or are the littlest of moments.  He is at work here, and it’s absolutely amazing to see.  I cannot wait to see how He works in these next two months and after that.

Well, this was short and sweet this week, but I’ll definitely update if anything comes back to mind!  Pray for God to continue moving in the lives that we serve and in my life as I serve.  Pray for strength and that my ear infection would be completely healed.  Pray that I continue learning to find joy in Jesus and to trust Him.

I have zero apologies for all the sky pictures.  I am obsessed with the sky.  I LOVE how God paints the sky each day.

Week Three | ACCLIMATION

Seriously.  Any time I sit down to blog, something weird happens.  Last week, Shalom (somehow) set her head on my shoulder;  tonight, a bug flew out of my hair.  Out of my hair.  I didn’t even know it was in my hair to begin with.  Seriously.  But it doesn’t even phase me anymore.  Like, oh look, a huge bug flew out of my hair, what else is new?

Acclimation is actually super fun.  I sincerely mean that, and it comes with no sarcasm.  Really.

This week, God has been teaching me all about acclimation and adjusting to this new world around me.  From the heat to the bugs to the food to the timing, God’s been working in cool ways this past week.

This week started with a lot (A LOT) of homesickness.  It was the first time I’d really missed home and my family; it was the first time I’d really cried from being homesick.  But God works in awesome ways sometimes.  This week, the other interns have started to feel like a real family.  They comforted me when I was feeling homesick, and they really do feel like sisters.  It’s amazing to me how God uses our spiritual family to create an (almost) real family.

It’s crazy to me that I’ve already finished three weeks of my time here.  That means that one fourth of my trip is over.  That’s insane.  That makes me want to cry.  I can’t imagine leaving here come August (also I really don’t want to go back to school in August – I just want to stay here forever).  But, as I started learning last week, I can’t focus on the negatives.  I’m choosing to focus on the positives and on all the beautiful ways God is blessing me while I’m here, not on when I have to leave and how quickly it seems to be approaching (even though it’s still two months away).

This week, I’ve gotten to go to the village and meet sweet, sweet little kids…and let them talk me into playing pato pato ganzo (duck duck goose) in the middle of the iglesia (church) in the village.  Those girlies are so darn sweet.  I also went back to the dump both to help Wednesday with morning activities and hang out with the girls in the abstinence program and to help Thursday afternoon at the youth group.  Seeing the kids at the youth group was a blast.  One of my favorite parts was getting to interact with the girls I’ve been starting to get to know from the abstinence program.

I still just absolutely LOVE my days at Taellor’s House.  It’s even more fun now that I’m matching the right names with the right kids (YAY no more calling kids the wrong names!) and now that I’m getting to know them all a little better.  They are seriously a blast.  Being able to be in an environment where kids are learning about Jesus through education brings my heart so much joy.  I would love to use education one day to reach kids who maybe wouldn’t otherwise hear about Jesus or see His love.

This week has been amazing.  So much has been changing as I’ve adjusted.  I cut up my first papaya this week.  I’ve been learning so much about the culture, and I’ve been learning about how, yes, everything really is always late here.  I knew that in my head, but it’s been super fun to experience firsthand.  The heat no longer feels as horridly hot, and the times when it rains actually feel pretty darn cold.  I’m learning how to handle my homesickness and turn to Jesus when the days feel hard or overwhelming, because those days come.  I’m learning to do life with the other interns that I’m living with, and I seriously can’t imagine spending this summer with any other girls.  God really knew what He was doing when He placed us all together.

For now, I can’t think of anything else, so here are some pictures from the last week for you to enjoy!

WEEK TWO

I’m trying to type this out, and Shalom (our guard dog) sticks her front two legs up next to me and her head on my shoulder.  It sounds sweet.  I love my Shally, but that girl will literally jump on anyone she sees.  She’s a sweetie, but she can be a little (or a lot) crazy at times.

This past week, God’s been teaching me about joy.  I find myself quite a bit focusing on the negative aspects of my circumstances.  This is especially true when I’m tired or socially overwhelmed (which is actually more often that I’d expected it would be, but more on that later).  It’s so easy to just sit back and let the negative take over.  It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill – once it gets started, it just keeps getting bigger.

But this week, there’s been that little voice in the back of my head saying, “Is this really how you want to spend your day?  Focusing on the negatives?”  And it’s not.  I don’t want to spend my time – here or anywhere – focusing on the little annoyances that come with everyday life.

Here’s the thing.  I’m a (semi) punctual person back home.  That carries over, I’m learning, into many other parts of my life.  In my mind, if there’s something to be done, it needs to be done at that moment.  There’s no waiting or putting it off or even just giving myself a few more minutes to rest.  If there’s a task at hand to be completed, I want it completed at that moment and as soon as possible.  I hate leaving things unfinished.

But, Alli, you’re a horrible procrastinator.  I know, I don’t get it either.

What I’m learning is that I can’t spend my time fretting over these things.  They’ll get done when they get done.  There’s no reason to focus on them and let myself be a negative nelly.  God wants me to find joy in all situations.  So, now, when I catch myself being negative, I make myself sit down and find the positives around me.  It’s been a learning process, but it’s really helping.  Making myself focus on the blessing God has given me is, in my opinion, my first step in learning what true joy in Him really is.

Rest is such a big part of me choosing to be joyful.  I cannot tell you the amount of times that Denise, Tammy, and Mom have all told me, “You need to take care of yourself,” this week.  Partly because I wasn’t feeling well at the beginning of the week, but I hated missing serving.  But rest is key.  If I don’t have real rest, I’ll never have the strength to serve.  Down here, I get exhausted so much easier than I do in the states.  I don’t know if it’s because it’s the first real time I’ve been serving all day, every week day, or if it’s because of the heat, or if it’s because I just need alone time at the end of each day, or if it’s because of some totally different reason.  Whatever it is, I find myself in need of rest much more than I have before.  I also find myself in need of alone time so much more than normal.  After spending a full day serving others, I need my time to be alone – physically alone – and catch up on my me-time.  It’s honestly been such a blessing to have Denise and Tammy encouraging me to schedule alone time each week; it’s been working (even if it’s only been two weeks).  I never would have thought I would learn about rest and taking time for myself while here, but it’s been a big part of what I’ve learned this past week.  I need to care for myself, and that’s not selfish.  It’s healthy.

Now for a simple overview of the week (sorry to switch topics to quickly).

I started the week off not feeling well, and I’m back there again now.  Throughout the week, I’ve been learning names of all the kids at Tae’s House and starting to actually get to know them and build relationships with them, and it’s such a blast.  I love these kids to pieces.  I’ve also really enjoyed going with Tammy to the feeding center and hanging out with the girls in the abstinence program.  They’re still teaching me to make paper beads (that’s probably all I’m allowed to do, and that’s all I want to attempt), and they’re still laughing at how bad my beads are.  But I’m determined to know how to make paper beads WELL by the time I come back in August (Hannah, get ready – this might be my new procrastination technique at school).  I’ve absolutely loved getting to spend time with their girls and just barely start building relationships with some of them.  I cannot wait to see where God takes those relationships over the summer.

One of my favorite moments this week was the day I was at Taellor’s House.  I got to hear sweet giggles from a table of kids during lunchtime.  At one point, a bunch (A BUNCH) of the kids were chasing Shalom around the grounds and just laughing their heads off.  Their laughter is seriously one of my favorite sounds.  I love hearing them sing songs to Jesus, and I love their laughter.  They are sweet, sweet sounds.

That’s all for this week.  Pray for God to do all sorts of God things (yes, I did learn that phrase from the Christy Miller books) in the coming week(s).  Pray that He would continue to teach me how to find my joy and rest in Him.

Also, pray that flies would quit flying in my ears.  Thank you.

{ WEEK ONE }

This week has been absolutely amazing.  It’s been nothing I expected but also so much more than I ever expected.  God is amazing.

From working with Tammy to traveling to the worksite/village with the team to helping at Taellor’s House in all kinds of ways, God’s started showing me just why I’m here.

First, let’s talk about how fun the classrooms are at Taellor’s House.  If I had any doubt that God was calling me to teaching, it would have been gone within a few days.  The teachers here are so fun, and the kids are awesome.  Tae’s House is filled with so much joy all the time.  I absolutely love helping Yassira in her classroom with the 6-12 year olds.  SO MUCH FUN.

But here’s what I’m learning about myself: I love serving people who are already serving.  Maybe it’s because growing up, all the mission trips I went on were to serve missionaries and people already serving, and maybe it’s just because I’ve seen the impact encouragement can have in the past.  Whether it’s because of either of those or not, serving those who are already serving is where God is calling me here in Nicaragua.

One day, Alena and I packed almost 300 bags for Mothers’ Day gifts in a hot room with not air circulation, and it was probably one of my favorite days here this past week.  I loved being able to help the Project H.O.P.E. team and serve in a way that would help them out the most at that time.

This week has been so extremely growing for me; I cannot wait to see all the rest that God does over the next two and a half months.  I started the week with quite a bit of homesick feelings, and those haven’t completely gone away, but it’s getting a whole lot better.  The other interns have really welcomed me in, and it already feels like we’re a family.  They’re seriously a blast.  Denise and Tammy have made me feel so at home here, and I love knowing I have to women that I can go to at any time, and they’ll be there for me.

Wednesday was hard this week.  It was day four (which is apparently a hard day for a lot of people).  My introversion really kicked in that day, so not only was I pretty wore out mentally and socially, I was also really starting to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t leaving at the end of the week.  That was (and is still, even though the week is over) a really weird feeling.  The other two times I’ve come to Nicaragua, I’ve only been here for a week.  Wednesday was filled with “I promised someone I would get a picture of this before I left,” and “Wow, I can’t believe this week is half over; I’m not ready to go home.”  But those were followed by, “Holy cow, I’m not going home at the end of this week.”  Sometimes, thinking about staying for another two and a half months is super scary and makes me a little nauseous.

Then, other times, I seriously can’t imagine leaving.  I’m loving it down here.  Like, how in the world am I supposed to find leche con cacao when I get back to the states in August?  That milk is my morning (and sometimes afternoon and sometimes night) pick-me-up.  It’s delicious.  Anyways, so much more often than not, I absolutely ignore the fact that I have to leave in two and a half months.  A few nights this week (including tonight), it’s absolutely downpoured here.  On this tin roof that we have, it’s seriously the most beautiful sound (even if it is super loud).  I cannot imagine not having these other interns here with me.  They bring me so much joy; they challenge me to find joy and to have fun, even when I may not want to.  Tonight, they convinced me to run out into the thunderstorm with them and play in the freezing cold rain.  And it was seriously some of the most fun I’ve had in a long time.

Sure, it’s not easy being down here, being away from my family, acclimating to the heat, learning to live in Nicaragua, but it’s seriously one of the best experiences I’ve had so far in my life.  I wouldn’t trade this for the world.  God is doing so many amazing things, and I wish I could tell you all about them, but I don’t think I even understand all that’s going on yet.  Keep praying that many lives would be changed and that He would work in amazing ways.  Pray that He moves in me as well as through me.  I cannot wait to see what all He has in store for the rest of the summer!

¡Hasta la próxima semana!

Nicaragua: DAY ONE

This morning, I woke up in Nicaragua.

I never thought this day would get here.  Even Friday, as I was packing and shopping and running around with Mom to tie up all the lose ends and finish all the things I’d forgotten about, it hadn’t set in that I left the next morning.  Every day leading up to the trip felt like two or three months before the trip started, even if it was only two or three days.  It’s insane how quickly this trip popped up.

I got to Taellor’s House last night, to my new home for the next three months, and the homesickness set in.  It’s weird to be so far away from my family and to know it’s going to be for so long.  On campus, I was always a quick drive away from my family (or a quick walk over to Dad’s office).  Here, I can’t get hugs from my mom or tell Molly goodnight or go visit Dad in his office at work.

But what I’m learning is that that’s okay.  It’s okay to be homesick and to miss my family, and it’s okay to be nervous about the next three months.  It’s what I do with those feelings that matters.  Am I holding on to the worry and the uncomfortableness and helping them build homes in my life, or am I focusing on looking to Jesus and why He brought me here?  Am I letting my negative feelings sit and fester, or am I talking to Jesus about them and finding my peace in Him?

Peace.  That’s a big word for only five letters.  I still have little idea how to define peace, but God’s been teaching me what it’s not.  Peace is not equivalent to joy or comfort.  It has nothing to do with my circumstances or how I’m feeling at any given moment.  Peace is something that comes only from Jesus.  I’m still working on learning just what that something is, but (at least in my opinion) ruling out what it’s not is a pretty darn good start to allowing God to show me what it is.

Anyways, back on my original train of thought.  I was pretty homesick last night.  But as soon as I pulled myself off of my bed and stepped outside, it was as if all was well.  Simply smelling the Nicaraguan air and feeling the Nicaraguan heat took away so much of my homesickness; I can’t really even describe it.  God really is good, calming my fears and worries and doubts in some of the most unexpected ways.  He’s pretty cool.

Today, I visited the homes in the village where Project H.O.P.E. has been building for the first time.  I’d been to this village once before, but I’d never seen the homes or the work and building PJHOPE was doing there.  It was pretty amazing.  Tomorrow, I’ll get to head to the worksite with the team that’s here now and see them in action.  For the first time, I’ll get to see what the majority of the teams who work with PJHOPE do.  I couldn’t be more excited.

In short, today was an amazing first day in Nicaragua.  I cannot wait to see all that God does in the next three months.  Hopefully, they won’t fly by as quickly as I (sadly) know they will.

Also, I didn’t cry at all on the flights yesterday, so that was awesome.

Okay, well, that’s all for now!  ¡Hasta luego!

Freshman Year is OVER

The other day, a friend of mine made the comment that, “Wow, we’ve changed a lot in the past year.”  It does not feel like a year ago that I moved into my dorm room at Missouri State; sometimes, it feels like yesterday, and sometimes it feels like I’ve always been here.  But I have changed a lot.  A lot has happened in the past year.

I’m sitting at my desk one last time as I write this, (again) procrastinating on the online psych homework I know I should be doing (it’s actually sitting next to my computer right now, and I’m still not doing it).  My desk and walls are bare again, just like they were the day I moved in.  All my stuff is packed up in Dad’s truck and on it’s way home, and I’ll be home in just a few hours.  It’s crazy.

Looking back on this year, all I can do is smile and see all the ways God has blessed me.  I spent a lot of last semester in my room, not really leaving much – except to go home every weekend or to watch movies in the living room with my suitemates.  But at the same time, I was finding out that I would be going to Nicaragua this summer.  I remember the exact spot on the Potter’s House front porch where I was sitting when I found out.

Ever since the spring semester started, I’ve been praying for God to bring Jesus-loving friends into my life that I could do life with.  And guess what.  He gave me a desire to spend time with people and actually go out and make some friends.

And I couldn’t be happier.  I seriously have found joy in leaving my room – I know, shocking sometimes.

As this semester and year come to and end, I can’t help but look back on all the things God has done.  He’s brought a second family into my life through dorm community and Bible studies.  {INCOMING COLLEGE FRESHMEN:  Let God lead you to the people who will become your second family.  They are seriously amazing.}  I cannot thank those people enough for all they’ve done for me, even in the last couple months.  They’ve supported and comforted me during the good and the bad times.  They’ve rejoiced with me and cried with me.  God blessed me tremendously when He brought us together as a second family.

I’ve officially dropped my Global Studies major and added the Latin American Studies minor in its place.  I have plans to study abroad in a couple years.  This semester, I’ve gotten involved in Cru on campus, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the friendships God placed in my life through Cru.  In August, I will join Cru leadership, and I cannot wait to see how God uses me to change my campus and other students, just like He used my leaders to change my life.

But first, Nicaragua.  I leave two weeks from tomorrow!  It’s getting so close!  My goal now is to be thankful for the year God just gave me at college and all He did here, but more than that to look to the future as He takes me on my next journey to Nicaragua.  I cannot wait to see how God works in Nicaragua, and I cannot wait to see all that He does when I get back to Missouri State next year.

This year has been amazing, and a TON has happened, but I cannot wait to see all that God has next!

See you in August, second family.  Have a great summer!