WEEK TWO

I’m trying to type this out, and Shalom (our guard dog) sticks her front two legs up next to me and her head on my shoulder.  It sounds sweet.  I love my Shally, but that girl will literally jump on anyone she sees.  She’s a sweetie, but she can be a little (or a lot) crazy at times.

This past week, God’s been teaching me about joy.  I find myself quite a bit focusing on the negative aspects of my circumstances.  This is especially true when I’m tired or socially overwhelmed (which is actually more often that I’d expected it would be, but more on that later).  It’s so easy to just sit back and let the negative take over.  It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill – once it gets started, it just keeps getting bigger.

But this week, there’s been that little voice in the back of my head saying, “Is this really how you want to spend your day?  Focusing on the negatives?”  And it’s not.  I don’t want to spend my time – here or anywhere – focusing on the little annoyances that come with everyday life.

Here’s the thing.  I’m a (semi) punctual person back home.  That carries over, I’m learning, into many other parts of my life.  In my mind, if there’s something to be done, it needs to be done at that moment.  There’s no waiting or putting it off or even just giving myself a few more minutes to rest.  If there’s a task at hand to be completed, I want it completed at that moment and as soon as possible.  I hate leaving things unfinished.

But, Alli, you’re a horrible procrastinator.  I know, I don’t get it either.

What I’m learning is that I can’t spend my time fretting over these things.  They’ll get done when they get done.  There’s no reason to focus on them and let myself be a negative nelly.  God wants me to find joy in all situations.  So, now, when I catch myself being negative, I make myself sit down and find the positives around me.  It’s been a learning process, but it’s really helping.  Making myself focus on the blessing God has given me is, in my opinion, my first step in learning what true joy in Him really is.

Rest is such a big part of me choosing to be joyful.  I cannot tell you the amount of times that Denise, Tammy, and Mom have all told me, “You need to take care of yourself,” this week.  Partly because I wasn’t feeling well at the beginning of the week, but I hated missing serving.  But rest is key.  If I don’t have real rest, I’ll never have the strength to serve.  Down here, I get exhausted so much easier than I do in the states.  I don’t know if it’s because it’s the first real time I’ve been serving all day, every week day, or if it’s because of the heat, or if it’s because I just need alone time at the end of each day, or if it’s because of some totally different reason.  Whatever it is, I find myself in need of rest much more than I have before.  I also find myself in need of alone time so much more than normal.  After spending a full day serving others, I need my time to be alone – physically alone – and catch up on my me-time.  It’s honestly been such a blessing to have Denise and Tammy encouraging me to schedule alone time each week; it’s been working (even if it’s only been two weeks).  I never would have thought I would learn about rest and taking time for myself while here, but it’s been a big part of what I’ve learned this past week.  I need to care for myself, and that’s not selfish.  It’s healthy.

Now for a simple overview of the week (sorry to switch topics to quickly).

I started the week off not feeling well, and I’m back there again now.  Throughout the week, I’ve been learning names of all the kids at Tae’s House and starting to actually get to know them and build relationships with them, and it’s such a blast.  I love these kids to pieces.  I’ve also really enjoyed going with Tammy to the feeding center and hanging out with the girls in the abstinence program.  They’re still teaching me to make paper beads (that’s probably all I’m allowed to do, and that’s all I want to attempt), and they’re still laughing at how bad my beads are.  But I’m determined to know how to make paper beads WELL by the time I come back in August (Hannah, get ready – this might be my new procrastination technique at school).  I’ve absolutely loved getting to spend time with their girls and just barely start building relationships with some of them.  I cannot wait to see where God takes those relationships over the summer.

One of my favorite moments this week was the day I was at Taellor’s House.  I got to hear sweet giggles from a table of kids during lunchtime.  At one point, a bunch (A BUNCH) of the kids were chasing Shalom around the grounds and just laughing their heads off.  Their laughter is seriously one of my favorite sounds.  I love hearing them sing songs to Jesus, and I love their laughter.  They are sweet, sweet sounds.

That’s all for this week.  Pray for God to do all sorts of God things (yes, I did learn that phrase from the Christy Miller books) in the coming week(s).  Pray that He would continue to teach me how to find my joy and rest in Him.

Also, pray that flies would quit flying in my ears.  Thank you.

{ WEEK ONE }

This week has been absolutely amazing.  It’s been nothing I expected but also so much more than I ever expected.  God is amazing.

From working with Tammy to traveling to the worksite/village with the team to helping at Taellor’s House in all kinds of ways, God’s started showing me just why I’m here.

First, let’s talk about how fun the classrooms are at Taellor’s House.  If I had any doubt that God was calling me to teaching, it would have been gone within a few days.  The teachers here are so fun, and the kids are awesome.  Tae’s House is filled with so much joy all the time.  I absolutely love helping Yassira in her classroom with the 6-12 year olds.  SO MUCH FUN.

But here’s what I’m learning about myself: I love serving people who are already serving.  Maybe it’s because growing up, all the mission trips I went on were to serve missionaries and people already serving, and maybe it’s just because I’ve seen the impact encouragement can have in the past.  Whether it’s because of either of those or not, serving those who are already serving is where God is calling me here in Nicaragua.

One day, Alena and I packed almost 300 bags for Mothers’ Day gifts in a hot room with not air circulation, and it was probably one of my favorite days here this past week.  I loved being able to help the Project H.O.P.E. team and serve in a way that would help them out the most at that time.

This week has been so extremely growing for me; I cannot wait to see all the rest that God does over the next two and a half months.  I started the week with quite a bit of homesick feelings, and those haven’t completely gone away, but it’s getting a whole lot better.  The other interns have really welcomed me in, and it already feels like we’re a family.  They’re seriously a blast.  Denise and Tammy have made me feel so at home here, and I love knowing I have to women that I can go to at any time, and they’ll be there for me.

Wednesday was hard this week.  It was day four (which is apparently a hard day for a lot of people).  My introversion really kicked in that day, so not only was I pretty wore out mentally and socially, I was also really starting to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t leaving at the end of the week.  That was (and is still, even though the week is over) a really weird feeling.  The other two times I’ve come to Nicaragua, I’ve only been here for a week.  Wednesday was filled with “I promised someone I would get a picture of this before I left,” and “Wow, I can’t believe this week is half over; I’m not ready to go home.”  But those were followed by, “Holy cow, I’m not going home at the end of this week.”  Sometimes, thinking about staying for another two and a half months is super scary and makes me a little nauseous.

Then, other times, I seriously can’t imagine leaving.  I’m loving it down here.  Like, how in the world am I supposed to find leche con cacao when I get back to the states in August?  That milk is my morning (and sometimes afternoon and sometimes night) pick-me-up.  It’s delicious.  Anyways, so much more often than not, I absolutely ignore the fact that I have to leave in two and a half months.  A few nights this week (including tonight), it’s absolutely downpoured here.  On this tin roof that we have, it’s seriously the most beautiful sound (even if it is super loud).  I cannot imagine not having these other interns here with me.  They bring me so much joy; they challenge me to find joy and to have fun, even when I may not want to.  Tonight, they convinced me to run out into the thunderstorm with them and play in the freezing cold rain.  And it was seriously some of the most fun I’ve had in a long time.

Sure, it’s not easy being down here, being away from my family, acclimating to the heat, learning to live in Nicaragua, but it’s seriously one of the best experiences I’ve had so far in my life.  I wouldn’t trade this for the world.  God is doing so many amazing things, and I wish I could tell you all about them, but I don’t think I even understand all that’s going on yet.  Keep praying that many lives would be changed and that He would work in amazing ways.  Pray that He moves in me as well as through me.  I cannot wait to see what all He has in store for the rest of the summer!

¡Hasta la próxima semana!

Nicaragua: DAY ONE

This morning, I woke up in Nicaragua.

I never thought this day would get here.  Even Friday, as I was packing and shopping and running around with Mom to tie up all the lose ends and finish all the things I’d forgotten about, it hadn’t set in that I left the next morning.  Every day leading up to the trip felt like two or three months before the trip started, even if it was only two or three days.  It’s insane how quickly this trip popped up.

I got to Taellor’s House last night, to my new home for the next three months, and the homesickness set in.  It’s weird to be so far away from my family and to know it’s going to be for so long.  On campus, I was always a quick drive away from my family (or a quick walk over to Dad’s office).  Here, I can’t get hugs from my mom or tell Molly goodnight or go visit Dad in his office at work.

But what I’m learning is that that’s okay.  It’s okay to be homesick and to miss my family, and it’s okay to be nervous about the next three months.  It’s what I do with those feelings that matters.  Am I holding on to the worry and the uncomfortableness and helping them build homes in my life, or am I focusing on looking to Jesus and why He brought me here?  Am I letting my negative feelings sit and fester, or am I talking to Jesus about them and finding my peace in Him?

Peace.  That’s a big word for only five letters.  I still have little idea how to define peace, but God’s been teaching me what it’s not.  Peace is not equivalent to joy or comfort.  It has nothing to do with my circumstances or how I’m feeling at any given moment.  Peace is something that comes only from Jesus.  I’m still working on learning just what that something is, but (at least in my opinion) ruling out what it’s not is a pretty darn good start to allowing God to show me what it is.

Anyways, back on my original train of thought.  I was pretty homesick last night.  But as soon as I pulled myself off of my bed and stepped outside, it was as if all was well.  Simply smelling the Nicaraguan air and feeling the Nicaraguan heat took away so much of my homesickness; I can’t really even describe it.  God really is good, calming my fears and worries and doubts in some of the most unexpected ways.  He’s pretty cool.

Today, I visited the homes in the village where Project H.O.P.E. has been building for the first time.  I’d been to this village once before, but I’d never seen the homes or the work and building PJHOPE was doing there.  It was pretty amazing.  Tomorrow, I’ll get to head to the worksite with the team that’s here now and see them in action.  For the first time, I’ll get to see what the majority of the teams who work with PJHOPE do.  I couldn’t be more excited.

In short, today was an amazing first day in Nicaragua.  I cannot wait to see all that God does in the next three months.  Hopefully, they won’t fly by as quickly as I (sadly) know they will.

Also, I didn’t cry at all on the flights yesterday, so that was awesome.

Okay, well, that’s all for now!  ¡Hasta luego!

Freshman Year is OVER

The other day, a friend of mine made the comment that, “Wow, we’ve changed a lot in the past year.”  It does not feel like a year ago that I moved into my dorm room at Missouri State; sometimes, it feels like yesterday, and sometimes it feels like I’ve always been here.  But I have changed a lot.  A lot has happened in the past year.

I’m sitting at my desk one last time as I write this, (again) procrastinating on the online psych homework I know I should be doing (it’s actually sitting next to my computer right now, and I’m still not doing it).  My desk and walls are bare again, just like they were the day I moved in.  All my stuff is packed up in Dad’s truck and on it’s way home, and I’ll be home in just a few hours.  It’s crazy.

Looking back on this year, all I can do is smile and see all the ways God has blessed me.  I spent a lot of last semester in my room, not really leaving much – except to go home every weekend or to watch movies in the living room with my suitemates.  But at the same time, I was finding out that I would be going to Nicaragua this summer.  I remember the exact spot on the Potter’s House front porch where I was sitting when I found out.

Ever since the spring semester started, I’ve been praying for God to bring Jesus-loving friends into my life that I could do life with.  And guess what.  He gave me a desire to spend time with people and actually go out and make some friends.

And I couldn’t be happier.  I seriously have found joy in leaving my room – I know, shocking sometimes.

As this semester and year come to and end, I can’t help but look back on all the things God has done.  He’s brought a second family into my life through dorm community and Bible studies.  {INCOMING COLLEGE FRESHMEN:  Let God lead you to the people who will become your second family.  They are seriously amazing.}  I cannot thank those people enough for all they’ve done for me, even in the last couple months.  They’ve supported and comforted me during the good and the bad times.  They’ve rejoiced with me and cried with me.  God blessed me tremendously when He brought us together as a second family.

I’ve officially dropped my Global Studies major and added the Latin American Studies minor in its place.  I have plans to study abroad in a couple years.  This semester, I’ve gotten involved in Cru on campus, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the friendships God placed in my life through Cru.  In August, I will join Cru leadership, and I cannot wait to see how God uses me to change my campus and other students, just like He used my leaders to change my life.

But first, Nicaragua.  I leave two weeks from tomorrow!  It’s getting so close!  My goal now is to be thankful for the year God just gave me at college and all He did here, but more than that to look to the future as He takes me on my next journey to Nicaragua.  I cannot wait to see how God works in Nicaragua, and I cannot wait to see all that He does when I get back to Missouri State next year.

This year has been amazing, and a TON has happened, but I cannot wait to see all that God has next!

See you in August, second family.  Have a great summer!

 

{ PRAYER }

Hi, friends!  I am officially FIVE WEEKS AWAY from leaving for Nicaragua, and I couldn’t be more excited!  But, if we’re being completely honest here, there are some mixed emotions about leaving that I’ve got running around in my head.

First, and probably foremost, I am OUT THE WAZOO EXCITED to go spend my summer in Nicaragua!  I’ve reached the point where even just saying the word “Nicaragua,” I start to smile and my heart begins to race.  It really is more excitement than I may have ever felt before (including graduation and the fountain party with free food on campus last Friday).

But see, I’ve also got some early homesickness and nervousness about the trip.  Sure, when I hear “Nicaragua,” my heart races of excitement, but it also races of nerves and worries and all those negative feelings.  I’m scared to leave my home and family for the three months that would have been spent completely with them.  It makes me sad to think that I’ll miss Father’s Day and my dad’s birthday and the family’s fourth of July celebrations.  I’ll miss my family’s concert back at Ridgecrest (if you haven’t heard about that yet, you should be there).  There are a lot of things I’m going to miss, and that honestly makes me sad.  Sure, I’ll have Facebook and Skype and different ways to communicate, and sure, I’ll have great experiences while I’m down there, but that doesn’t quite take away the twinge of sadness that comes with missing some of my favorite parts of spending summer with my family.

On that note, I’m extremely excited for all that I’m going to experience while I’m in Nicaragua.  I cannot explain to you how excited I am to experience the Latin American and Nicaraguan cultures, eat local foods, and work with the teams that come to base.  I seriously cannot wait to show Jesus’s love and hope to all the little kids God will place in my life at Tae’s House.  It’s going to be an amazing experience.  I have no idea whatsoever what it’s going to look like (and if you know me at all, you know how much not having a plan can stress me out), but I know God is going to do amazing things.  I cannot wait to see all that He has planned and how He works this summer.

So, with my departure being so close, I have some prayer requests that I would love for you to pray alongside me:

Pray for peace to take the place of the homesickness.  I want to be able to serve God to the best of my abilities, and ongoing homesickness would probably combat that.  I know that some homesick feelings will be completely natural, but I’m praying that they aren’t ongoing and that I can easily acclimate to the culture, people, and environment that I’m in.  I’m praying that I feel the peace of God siempre (always) and am able to find my home in Him and not in my location or distance from my family.

Pray for my physical health.  Like I said before, I leave in five weeks.  Currently, I am wearing a fracture boot for a foot injury I’ve had for about eight months, and we’re still not sure what is wrong with it.  Pray for guidance, that we and the doctors can easily determine how my foot is hurt, and pray that it would heal quickly and I’ll be able to be on my feet and working while in Nicaragua, not bogged down by the boot.

Pray for God to do AMAZING things this summer and the rest of the year!  I’m not the only intern there, and some are staying even after I leave.  Pray that God does an amazing work and changes lives in Nicaragua.  Pray for my strength and that I would find everything I need in Him alone.

I cannot thank y’all enough for all your prayers and support these past few months!  It’s been a crazy ride getting to where I am, but it’s been so fun.  I’ve loved seeing just how God provides (I’m fully funded!) and how He takes care of me.  Him providing the funds was a reassurance I really needed to know that He is sending me to Nicaragua, and it’s not something I need to doubt.  He has provided the way.  I cannot wait to share stories with all y’all of how God is moving in Nicaragua and just what all He’s doing at Tae’s House!  Thank you again for all the prayers, support, and love.  You’re the greatest!

"Estén siempre gozosos.  Oren sin cesar.  Den gracias en todo, porque esta es la voluntad de Dios para ustedes en Cristo Jesús."

1 Tesalonicenses 5:16-18 (RVA-2015)

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV)

{ mostate update }

So, I’ve recently realized that a lot of people probably don’t know much about my college plans/reality right now (let’s be real, it’s kind of been confusing me lately, too).  So here's an update.

Back in August, I started at MOState with a declared Global Studies major and double minor in Linguistics and Spanish, hoping to pursue English as a Second Language Education (ESL).  Partway through the semester, though, I found a TESOL minor, which would allow me to leave college with a teacher certification for ESL.  But see, to declare the TESOL minor, I would need to be a declared Education major.  I talked with a Spanish advisor, and things started to change.

I’m literally having to restrain myself from bouncing up and down while typing this.  I AM SO EXCITED for where God has taken all of this, and I CANNOT WAIT to see where He continues to take it all.

So I talked with a Spanish advisor and the Honors College advisor, and I dropped both my minors (don’t worry it gets even more drastic).  Then, keeping my Global Studies major, I added a Spanish Education major (really, there’s a much longer name for it, but I don’t feel like writing it all out).  But here’s the catch: my Spanish Ed. major is through the Language Department, not the Education department, so the major is considered a B.S. instead of a B.S. Ed., the latter being what I need to declare a TESOL minor.

I’ve been confused a lot these past couple months trying to figure it all out, but I’ve been placed with (in my opinion) the best advisors on campus who have been more helpful than I could have ever imagined.  My Spanish advisor is doing basically everything she can to make sure my graduation track looks exactly as I want it to look.

{ Side Note: Not to put a college plug in, but if you haven’t considered Missouri State at all yet, it really is an amazing school.  If my experience with advisor’s doesn’t convince you of that, well, I’ve got plenty of other stories that will. }

After Spring Break, I start on my education track. I AM SO STINKING EXCITED.  Really though, I never (NEVER) imagined myself taking an education class.  I thought, "I’ll take my culture classes and Spanish classes, and then I’ll take the few English classes that I need for a TESOL minor."  I have always adored teachers and loved the work they do, but I never imagined myself in their shoes.  But now, here I am, an education major who can’t sit still when she talks about it because I AM SO EXCITED.

Sorry I keep using caps lock, but I can’t seem to express just how excited I am for all the opportunities even the next year of classes are going to bring to learn about education.

Here’s the thing: I sat in class for a lot of high school, wanting to be a tutor or help people better understand their schoolwork, but I never even thought of being a teacher.  It’s amazing to me just how God works.  I don’t know how I would have reacted before college if I thought about an education degree.  I had absolutely nothing against it, but I had my heart completely (and only) set on Global Studies and spending four years learning about cultures (which, thanks to my double major, I will now be doing over the span of five years).  Now, I’ll still be studying cultures, primarily the Latin American culture, but combining it with my language and education studies.  I just think it’s the coolest thing ever that there’s a way to overlap two majors that could seem so totally different.

Anyways, that’s enough about school.  Now let’s talk about other things.  I’m in the process of rushing Gamma Alpha Lambda (GAL), the Christian sorority on campus, and it’s been a complete blast.  I’ve already had chances to get to know new people and find a place on campus.  It’s really a great group of girls.  I’ve found a roommate for next year, and we already have a suitemate, too!

I started going to CRU a few weeks ago, as well, and I can’t tell you what a blessing that’s already been in my life.  There was one Thursday night at the beginning of the semester that I just had this gnawing feeling inside of, “Alli, you should really go to CRU tonight.  You NEED to go.”  So I went.  And it was exactly what I needed that night.  From then on, I knew CRU was the spot for me.

It’s been amazing to me this semester to see God work.  It’s been so so cool to see Him working out all the kinks in my majors-and-minor confusion.  If it hadn’t been for Him, I probably wouldn’t have gone to CRU that night, and I probably wouldn’t have joined GAL, two groups on campus where I’ve really found my place (that campus slogan really does describe a lot of college life).  God’s taken me down a crazy path academically that’s had a bunch of changes, but it’s been so fun to see it all start to come together.  When I first declared the Spanish Ed. major, I wasn’t so sure how I felt about it.  But I’m just a few weeks away from my first education class, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so excited about a class (and I’m currently in a lot of really fun culture classes).  I’ll get a taste of teaching this summer at Taellor’s House, and then the education classes kick into full gear.

And I can’t wait.  I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM GOD IS SO GOOD AND COOL AND FANTASTIC.

Okay, I’m done with caps lock now.

{ HONDURAS 2011 }

Five years ago, I was walking the streets of Honduras.  I had no idea what all would happen in the five years after that trip.

If you were to ask me about that trip anytime before today, I probably would have told you I got sick.  Like, really sick.  I also might have told you that my sweet grandmother got stuck in a very small bathroom at a church we visited, or that we visited the school my dad and aunt's attended when they lived there.  And I'll probably still tell you those things today, but my view of that trip has started to change.

{This was taken at the school where my dad and aunts went to school.}

Five years ago, I never could have imagined being where I am today.  I was this awkward junior high child trying to understand my make-up math homework and attempting to communicate with the locals even though I could only count to twenty in Spanish and only knew the names of colors and how to ask where the bathroom was (that's a very important question to know, by the way).

Now, I'm a college student studying language and culture and language/culture education.  When I visited Dad's old school, all I could think about was how I still didn't feel to great after being sick the day before.  Later in the trip, I started dreaming of teaching in a school like that one.  But at that point, it was just an idea floating around in my head.  I had no plan or goal or really anything except this idea floating in my head: I'm going to live somewhere like this one day and teach somewhere like this.

{ "Porque yo sé los pensamientos que tengo acerca de vosotros, dice Jehova, pensamientos de paz, y no de mal, para daros el fin que esperáis."  Jeremías 29:11 }

I leave in about four months to spend my summer in Nicaragua teaching and witnessing to the people there.  I had no idea that day at that school in Honduras that, five years down the road, I would be preparing to live for three months in a bordering country and teach as a missions tool.  Looking back on the last five years, it's amazing to see just how God has taken this awkward girl and given me a desire to serve Him in Latin America.  I went from dreaming of teaching somewhere like the school we visited to actually getting ready to teach for an entire summer in Nicaragua.  God's pretty cool, isn't He?

{Near the bottom of this picture is the stadium, and above from that is the airport's runway.  Flying into Honduras was one of the coolest things I've experienced!}