WEEK TWO

I’m trying to type this out, and Shalom (our guard dog) sticks her front two legs up next to me and her head on my shoulder.  It sounds sweet.  I love my Shally, but that girl will literally jump on anyone she sees.  She’s a sweetie, but she can be a little (or a lot) crazy at times.

This past week, God’s been teaching me about joy.  I find myself quite a bit focusing on the negative aspects of my circumstances.  This is especially true when I’m tired or socially overwhelmed (which is actually more often that I’d expected it would be, but more on that later).  It’s so easy to just sit back and let the negative take over.  It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill – once it gets started, it just keeps getting bigger.

But this week, there’s been that little voice in the back of my head saying, “Is this really how you want to spend your day?  Focusing on the negatives?”  And it’s not.  I don’t want to spend my time – here or anywhere – focusing on the little annoyances that come with everyday life.

Here’s the thing.  I’m a (semi) punctual person back home.  That carries over, I’m learning, into many other parts of my life.  In my mind, if there’s something to be done, it needs to be done at that moment.  There’s no waiting or putting it off or even just giving myself a few more minutes to rest.  If there’s a task at hand to be completed, I want it completed at that moment and as soon as possible.  I hate leaving things unfinished.

But, Alli, you’re a horrible procrastinator.  I know, I don’t get it either.

What I’m learning is that I can’t spend my time fretting over these things.  They’ll get done when they get done.  There’s no reason to focus on them and let myself be a negative nelly.  God wants me to find joy in all situations.  So, now, when I catch myself being negative, I make myself sit down and find the positives around me.  It’s been a learning process, but it’s really helping.  Making myself focus on the blessing God has given me is, in my opinion, my first step in learning what true joy in Him really is.

Rest is such a big part of me choosing to be joyful.  I cannot tell you the amount of times that Denise, Tammy, and Mom have all told me, “You need to take care of yourself,” this week.  Partly because I wasn’t feeling well at the beginning of the week, but I hated missing serving.  But rest is key.  If I don’t have real rest, I’ll never have the strength to serve.  Down here, I get exhausted so much easier than I do in the states.  I don’t know if it’s because it’s the first real time I’ve been serving all day, every week day, or if it’s because of the heat, or if it’s because I just need alone time at the end of each day, or if it’s because of some totally different reason.  Whatever it is, I find myself in need of rest much more than I have before.  I also find myself in need of alone time so much more than normal.  After spending a full day serving others, I need my time to be alone – physically alone – and catch up on my me-time.  It’s honestly been such a blessing to have Denise and Tammy encouraging me to schedule alone time each week; it’s been working (even if it’s only been two weeks).  I never would have thought I would learn about rest and taking time for myself while here, but it’s been a big part of what I’ve learned this past week.  I need to care for myself, and that’s not selfish.  It’s healthy.

Now for a simple overview of the week (sorry to switch topics to quickly).

I started the week off not feeling well, and I’m back there again now.  Throughout the week, I’ve been learning names of all the kids at Tae’s House and starting to actually get to know them and build relationships with them, and it’s such a blast.  I love these kids to pieces.  I’ve also really enjoyed going with Tammy to the feeding center and hanging out with the girls in the abstinence program.  They’re still teaching me to make paper beads (that’s probably all I’m allowed to do, and that’s all I want to attempt), and they’re still laughing at how bad my beads are.  But I’m determined to know how to make paper beads WELL by the time I come back in August (Hannah, get ready – this might be my new procrastination technique at school).  I’ve absolutely loved getting to spend time with their girls and just barely start building relationships with some of them.  I cannot wait to see where God takes those relationships over the summer.

One of my favorite moments this week was the day I was at Taellor’s House.  I got to hear sweet giggles from a table of kids during lunchtime.  At one point, a bunch (A BUNCH) of the kids were chasing Shalom around the grounds and just laughing their heads off.  Their laughter is seriously one of my favorite sounds.  I love hearing them sing songs to Jesus, and I love their laughter.  They are sweet, sweet sounds.

That’s all for this week.  Pray for God to do all sorts of God things (yes, I did learn that phrase from the Christy Miller books) in the coming week(s).  Pray that He would continue to teach me how to find my joy and rest in Him.

Also, pray that flies would quit flying in my ears.  Thank you.